Thursday October 3, 2002

I watched "Iris", that film about Iris Murdoch and her husband and how they deal with her getting Alzheimer's and it seriously fucked me up. Because she was so cool and smart and he loved her so fucking much and it sounds corny, but I miss my brain-addled mom, so I cried a helluva lot. I just couldn't help it. I didn't know why I was crying and I wanted to see the movie so I wasn't really "goin with the flow" and I kept choking it back but it was going to come out no matter what I did. Then after it was over I really felt like writing something, being all emotional and everything. I got up and sorted through my old bills and made sure they were all paid and then I clicked on some Belle & Sebastian mp3's and while I was digging around on my desk I found some old film that I never scanned and this photo was on the end of the roll. That was my Canon P coming to the end of a roll and not letting me advance the film all the way but still letting me cock the shutter. Well, that emotional stuff was over an hour ago but I still feel all raw inside. I'm glad it's a good photograph.