Thursday August 15, 2002

Time for a little conspicuous consumption folks! I'm here on the streets of the Mission today to bring you news of a new beverage. SPARKS! It's already starting to hit my bloodstream. I don't feel thirsty any more. It does that taurine thing to the back of your throat. A filmy coating that makes it harder to swallow. Seems to retard thirst.

Maybe this shit is all over MTV and this aint news. When I brought it in to Brett at Arinell's Pizza he was like, "Yah, I'm kinda into it now." I wanted to be shocked but he does work next door to the liquor store where I bought it so I guess he should be on that shit. It's displayed in those can-holders in the door like they do with Redbull.

Being a big fan of Rockstar, and noting that SPARKS is made by the same liquor company responsible for Steele Reserve 211 hobo juice, and not having too much important to do this afternoon, except laundry, I decided to get a can. It does have nice silver and orange packaging. I was turned on by the font. It was so big and so cheap.

When you pop the top on a SPARKS, this yellow loamy foamy stuff oozes out. They put tons of yellow #5 in it. It looks like that spray foam lubricant called #77 that I used to use for pulling wire through conduit. I was a little put off but I was pouring it directly into my mouth from the can so I wouldn't have to look at it. It hit like a cool citrus-y overpotent energy drink and finished poorly. I was dismayed by the bland mix of low-grade vodka aftertaste and chemical reactions going on inside my mouth. It's been a good 45 minutes since I took that first drink now and I think I have a bit of a headache.

All in all, I'd say SPARKS is a winner.

The shit has already been blogged here and here

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