Teddy was askin me why I didn’t have a pet and I said, “Why I gotta have a pet?” She said, “Don’t you get lonely or anything?” and I said, “Well, I have my laptop”.

Might sound funny but my laptop is like mouse, the cat I had in my teens. Used to sleep with her every night. Loved that fucking cat. But I loved it so much that now I’m allergic to cats. If I was gonna have an animal for a pet it would be a cat, but I have a machine for a pet and it does nicely. Its keys are so soft and they fit my hands. The screen is big and bright and cheerful. It’s quiet, quick and wireless. It brings me the world. I create on it. You all know how laptops work. Mine works incredibly well. It sits on top of my lap for upwards of 15 hours a day.

But all the attention was taking its toll so I sent it back to Dell for repair on Tuesday, thinking I’d not see it till next week but Airborne rang my doorbell at 9am this morning and it was my old friend the laptop wanting to come inside. That’s a one day turnaround. And they swapped out the freakin motherbboard in Memphis! So here’s to Dell computer corporation for making such a lovely beast and to their fulfillment partnership with Airborne Express corporation. I owe you my life.