Inflights
Yabba dabba do. I hadn't even unpacked my complimentary headphones when the promotional duty-free ads ended and two magnificent women paraded out on to the stage and started moving their lips. They were soo beautiful, one blond and one brunette. And they where dressed in satin jumpsuits and gauchos. they would point a nod at each other when they sung a line and I knew they were singing my song and then the camera panned back and there was a guy playing an acoustic guitar and for some inexplicable, but wonderful reason, he was dressed like Ace Freehley. Wait a minute; I think they're all gay spacerockers! I tore the plastic off my headphones and tried to get the individually hygienically wrapped ear pads installed but they flew under the guy sitting next to me so I just slapped the hard plastic phones on and what a huge warm sound. It was ABBA. My god. It didn't let up for another hour or so. A full length ABBA documentary on a 747. I was in heaven of course. I had no idea that they had 19 consecutive top ten hits! Wow. See what happens to you when you get out?
they're showing "Wild Wild West" now and I’m skipping it. Just like all the other people who got up after "Big Daddy" (which had amazing cross-cultural reach) and went pee and who are up in the aisles kickin' it. I’m in the smooth front end of the cabin. The whole thing's lit up by a tiny crack in a window shade. 'Ere’s some powerful sunlight up here. The back of the plane is sleeping. I wonder how that happened. Maybe the first dark bulkhead started a chain reaction towards the back.
dabbavep
- Intro
- Angeles, Take Two
- Inflights
- In de pendence day
- Showermaster
- Read Here for Information on India
- Mani Bhavan Gandhi Sangrahalaya
- I Live in a Treehouse
- Random Stuff About This Place
- Straws, Bucks and Lawns
- Coming and Going
- Any Ol' Punk Will Do
- The View from Swaraj Terrace
- Freshlimesoda
- No Bowling Alleys or Prostitutes in This One
- Bowling Alleys: Only For the Young, Rich and Bored-Trendy.
- <meta name='keywords' content='sex, sex, sex, sex, sex'>
- I Met some Boys On a Train to Pushkar
- I Met some Boys On the Street in Pushkar
- Bus-tin a Move
- Pinky Eyes, They're Watchin You, They See Your Every Move
- What You Write when You're in a Sleeper Car
- Birthday Boy
- Movie Review
- Pretty Long, but Every Word the God's Honest Truth
- Givin Props
- Sticking With Strict Chronological Order, Here It Is
- Here's some more
- German Optics
- Shopper's Alert
- Eleanor
- Compassion
- Multi-Infarct Dementia
- Let us now praise protocol pioneers
- Thirty Four
- Cookie Cutter
- What Does Your Soul Look Like?
- Bye Bye, Swaraj Terrace
- Long, Boring Writing About a Short, Exciting Skateboard Ride
- Swingin For the Cheap Seats
- Request Timed Out
- Ah, Bed. "With Two Mattresses, Please."
- Giving Birth
- Momma, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up
- Ticketmaster
- This Journal Cost Me Sixty Dollars
- The Mahanagari Express
- We Got a Floater!
- Kiss My Holi Ass You Punks!
- Better Yet, Kiss My Diseased Holi Ass, You Punks
- Indian Beauty
- Exhibition Cum Sale
- The Puff Guide
- Man Surrounded by Tea: "Let's See some Magic Folks!"
- Sikkimese Graffiti
- Pelling Hotel Play-By-Play
- Brrrickfist Sah?
- Singapore Slingshot
- The Situation Is Right for a Lovely Fight