Teddy was askin me why I didn’t have a pet and I said, “Why I gotta have a pet?” She said, “Don’t you get lonely or anything?” and I said, “Well, I have my laptop”.

Might sound funny but my laptop is like mouse, the cat I had in my teens. Used to sleep with her every night. Loved that fucking cat. But I loved it so much that now I’m allergic to cats. If I was gonna have an animal for a pet it would be a cat, but I have a machine for a pet and it does nicely. Its keys are so soft and they fit my hands. The screen is big and bright and cheerful. It’s quiet, quick and wireless. It brings me the world. I create on it. You all know how laptops work. Mine works incredibly well. It sits on top of my lap for upwards of 15 hours a day.

But all the attention was taking its toll so I sent it back to Dell for repair on Tuesday, thinking I’d not see it till next week but Airborne rang my doorbell at 9am this morning and it was my old friend the laptop wanting to come inside. That’s a one day turnaround. And they swapped out the freakin motherbboard in Memphis! So here’s to Dell computer corporation for making such a lovely beast and to their fulfillment partnership with Airborne Express corporation. I owe you my life.

This posting on ebay will probably expire soon but I thought it was a nice bunch of photos of my camera and example of what I did with it. 89 bucks might be kinda spendy but that's the way it goes on ebay these days. The guy even asked for permission to use my photo.

Mini movie review for "Suddenly" 1954.

From the very first moment of the movie you can feel the camp. It spills off the screen almost as quickly as Sam Fuller's "The Naked Kiss" (the uncontestable peak of twisted melodramatic motion picture brilliance) but here's it was surely a complete mistake. Or could it have been spiced with subversion? I don't know the director or writer but their bios seem spotless. I’m sure Sen. McCarthy loved them. Sterling Hayden, is fucking ridiculous as sheriff "Tod" (were people named Tod then? Guess so.) So ridiculous that after the first two goofy minutes I asked myself, "you're gonna stay up all night watching b-movie crap instead of helping the needy children of your community?" and I didn't have time to answer. I popped a Salisbury steak TV dinner in and parked it. I love Sterling Hayden and something about his delivery is so wooden that at the very moment he's proclaiming his otherworldly patriotism he reminds me of poor Ellen when she is coerced to front for the assassins and lie that everything is ok and send the cops away. There's something about that guy. After all, he was hanging with Stanely Kubrick at the time (The Killing) and he would play General Jack D. Ripper in Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove.

From IMDB:

"To modern eyes the all-American good guys look ever-so-slightly psycho in their undying patriotism, love of guns (but hey!, not killing), and idol-worship of the Prez. Even the pacifist heroine has to relent and understand that guns solve problems, suddenly."

Of course, monologing through the whole thing is Mr. Straight, Frank Sinatra. Even though he plays a psycho killer, he doesn't fit with the wierdos in this movie. I found this on the back side of a "The Man with the Golden Arm" DVD and I'd forgotten that I'd already seen that. That movie sucked. Its message is simplistic and boring and dated. I was amazed how boring it was and angry with my rental so I didn't have much left for "Suddenly" (which, for some reason, I thought was a recorded live performance of Mr. Frank.) But let me tell you now, "Suddenly" is worth finding at the vidstore and bringing home to your loved ones.

From IMDB:

"This is the film that Lee Harvey Oswald supposedly watched mere days before assassinating JFK, a fact that Frank Sinatra learned years after the tragedy prompting him to withdraw the film from circulation."

In case you were looking for it, I have an algorithm (written in Python or VBScript, got yer choice) for calculating the distance between two points specified in longitude and latitude and a database of all the zips in the US and their corrensponding longitude-latitude centroids.

I'm a-givin' it to the chillun

I gotta kick this little monk's ass up on to the net. Recently I spent an entire day evaluating every moment of my existence in relation to the afternoon I spent on top of this hill in Pelling, Sikkim. I listened to the cicadas making their racket, I played with the dirt and stones, I took pictures of monk kids, and I stood there with my hands on my hips. I tried to keep going on through the sickness.

What I kept thinking in-between day-dreams was how insignificant that day will be in the sweep of my life and how pivotal the day in Pelling was. This monastery has some crazy shit that doesn't exist anywhere else in the world -- like the only sacred murals of Buddhisatvas having sex. I have a little bit of it here for you. I wanted to tell my friend David about it that day, but it was really just sentimentality and I was the only one who possessed it. I wanted to tell him, while we were at the burger shop, about the little kid sleeping in the grass while another kid bashed cymbals over his head. That I wandered around what was essentially an abandoned ancient outpost, staffed only by a few deformed children.

Now, watch as this monk kid tries to whistle for the cameras. I had to get setup with my camera, and by the time I was ready, he couldn't whistle. I tried to whistle to get him to start but I think it was me turning the screen around on my vidcam so he could watch himself that got him going. Every single second of footage I shot on this day is worth public viewing. I think I'll do the chattering, ringing cymbal thing that this kid can do next.

the whistling monk kid 1:07 minutes or download 2.6 megs